It’s time to confess: I have a fascination with the villagers of Minecraft. I often observe their lives, pilfering items from their bedside chests, and sometimes even snoozing in their beds like an ungrateful Goldilocks.
I can hardly express my feelings when the latest update, Village & Pillage, enhanced the villagers’ capabilities. With new professions came a variety of outfits that matched each mob’s role. But are they truly as great as they seem? I’m indebted to my new friend who enjoys saying “Hmm,” so I’ve decided to evaluate their attire objectively and on the surface. Buckle up, because I have plenty of intriguing insights about these mobs!
Desert Villager
This simple, straightforward mob is designed specifically for hot climates. What more could a villager ask for? Besides a ridiculous amount of emeralds for what seems like their endless supply of bread. Seriously, does anyone actually buy bread in Minecraft Pocket Edition? I’ve never done it. Why would you when it’s available for free? I’m captivated by the desert villager’s eyes—just take a look! The green shoulders accentuate his emerald-like eyes, making them appear like tiny gems. He already has a connection to nature’s forces! I absolutely love this! The developers must have considered every detail in his outfit. His cloak fits perfectly with his environment: the fringe protects him from the sun while keeping him cool. You see, in the desert, you can’t just pop into the nearest pharmacy for sunscreen. Kudos to the developers for their thoughtfulness!
I will offer the desert dweller 3 out of 5 emeralds!
No need to poke cacti in your eyes when this fashionista is around.
Fisherman in the Jungle
Have you heard the old saying from Minecraft: teach a villager to fish, and he’ll take your hard-earned emeralds for a raw salmon? With his stylish hat, this trickster managed to pull me out of my comfort zone; I rarely do that willingly, but somehow he made it happen! Just because he has a cool hat doesn’t mean he can casually invite you to dinner and then present an outrageously large bill for the fish. I would have refused to pay and escaped if there hadn’t been guards at every exit, even the backup one. Never fall for such tricks. This, ladies and gentlemen, is a free valuable life lesson from yours truly.
He receives 4 out of 5 emeralds.
A rather impressive score for an outfit that seemingly has a fishy odor.
Weapon Master
The eye patch is a true fashion statement. Whether inspired by pirates, cartoon villains, or my grandmother post-eye surgery, I can confidently say that an eye patch is a bold way to add a touch of mystery to any outfit! What secrets does this unassuming weaponsmith hide behind his patch? A robotic eye? Perhaps a tiny compartment for stashing away treasures? I’m not sure what he’s concealing, but I admire his unique style choice! When the “Anti-Eye Patch League for Fashion’s Sake” threatens the armorer, he will simply cast a disdainful glance with his charismatic eye, and the issue will be resolved. Pfft, I think I’ll go buy myself an eye patch!
He receives 4 out of 5 emeralds!
Or perhaps we should have rated him higher? His charming headband adds to a rather unique look.
Snowy Cleric
I feel like this guy and I could become great friends. He reminds me of the barista at the café near my apartment. And it’s not just because I pay them both for the sweet drinks that keep me going. Somehow, these two manage to earn my trust in a way that leaves me powerless to resist! I believe much of what builds that trust comes from that cozy and soothing hat. That’s all it takes! Every time I spot a cool hat in the wild, I follow it as if I were a captivated duck. Right now, I’m reaching out to the developers of Minecraft Bedrock: “Please make me a hat like this villager’s. I need it.” Once after such a request, they started saying things like, “Please step away from my desk” or “Your mom was right when she said you have an odd-shaped head.” But I remain hopeful!
4 out of 5 emeralds
I see why they are referred to as snow priests (from the English: “cool”), because their attire is indeed very stylish (also from the English “cool”)!
The Wandering Trader
The path to becoming a true fashion icon involves not just stunning outfits, but also an incredible level of confidence! What does your self-assurance say about you if you walk into a room with two loaded companions? Much like the mean girls at my lunch table in high school, the Wandering Trader never travels alone. They always come with their little entourage, and I would gladly trade all my emeralds for some trivial item just to be closer to them and earn their approval. A powerful cloak, exquisite accessories, and finally… all the emeralds a villager could ever desire. The Wandering Trader can proudly hold the title of the most fashionable and coolest among all the inhabitants. Now, hopefully, they’ll give me a discount since I wrote this article just to catch their attention.
5 emeralds out of 5
Or two of the cutest lamps I’ve ever seen!
I would ask for your thoughts on the Minecraft mod, but mods are not a democracy, my dear friend. Just as suddenly as the Wandering Trader appears, it can block all the doors to your home. The world is constantly evolving; progress is relentless, and trends shift. Even this article has become outdated. There will never be fresh news; they become obsolete before they even arrive.
