Don’t drink it!

In Minecraft, there exists a vast array of beneficial potions. For instance, consuming one can fully heal all your wounds and restore your hearts to maximum capacity. Some potions even boost your speed, allowing you to move faster than a student racing to the cafeteria. Most players are likely familiar with these helpful brews, so today we will focus on the most unpleasant and dangerous ones. The study of these concoctions could have cost us our lives, which is why we approached this task with extreme caution.

Before diving into our research, we decided to enhance the accuracy of our findings by testing the potions on Mojang employees, pouring these delightful brews into their water supply. Now, the Java team won’t stop croaking. When my colleague heard about it, he reassured me that there’s no need for concern since the Java team always communicates like that…

No matter how amusing the situations may be for our testers, let’s take a closer look at the potential effects ourselves.

Turtle Potion

If it took you sixteen hours to reach this part of the article, the bad news is that you’re a bit slow. This means the turtle potion is critically unsuitable for you. Drinking this potion grants you Resistance III, making you impervious to any damage or hits. You’ll feel as light as a feather inside a tank.

However, this potion has a minor side effect: just one sip will give you Slowness IV. This means you’ll be like a turtle: incredibly tough defense that’s hard to breach but very sluggish. I believe that after devouring half of the school cafeteria, I would move much quicker than a player who drank that potion. (Burps and falls face-first right where they ate a minute ago).

How strange is that?

This potion is indeed a bit odd, but we can think of even more absurd ways to express our love for turtles. For example, hypothetically speaking, you might paint your entire body green and crawl through the halls of the Mojang office, catching the surprised gazes of employees. I bet nobody could stop you, except perhaps someone who approaches you and sternly asks, “What are you doing here?” Just a hypothetical scenario.

Harming Potion

Could it be fruit juice? No, too simple for me. How about lemonade? Thanks, but that’s not interesting. Hmm, what if there was a potion that slowly drains your life until it takes away six hearts? Seriously, six hearts?!

I can’t wrap my head around why anyone would invent something that could harm them. I couldn’t calm down, so I went outside to ask passersby. After a while, I got bored and started shouting, but had to stop when several intoxicated individuals begged me to quit.

Honestly, I tried to come up with valid reasons to brew a harming potion (sure, I could throw it at hostile mobs, but that seems tedious and tiring; my arm would probably tire out first):

• Someone thought that Minecraft Bedrock was too easy, so they decided to complicate things by creating a potion that leaves only a few hearts. I wouldn’t be surprised if they then ventured into a cave filled with creepers. Now that’s survival mode! True hardcore!
• Somebody wants to craft an evil potion to impress cool players on their server. Never do this; it’s not worth it! Succumbing to peer pressure just to show off is not a wise choice—only desperate losers do that (by the way, do you think the cool kids read my articles? Hey dude, I hope you enjoy what I’m doing!)
• Maybe someone watched a YouTube video titled “678 Ways to Get Rich in Minecraft“. There, a guy who supposedly is your friend, Enderbro99, suggests drinking a thousand harming potions, claiming your character will start burping money. I was foolish enough to believe him… I can assure you, that’s a lie; don’t try this yourself!

How strange is that?

It’s as strange as catching you eating sand. No, I’m kidding; eating sand is a bad idea.

Weakness Potion

I’m tired of being strong. I’m fed up with people constantly asking me to flex my arm and showcase my magnificent, powerful biceps, only for them to faint afterward. Or laugh and say they struggle to read that sentence because of my shoulders.

It’s not easy being me, a person roughly a billion times stronger than Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. But thankfully, in Minecraft Bedrock, there’s a potion that allows me to finally lead a peaceful life, known as the weakness potion. Just one is enough to turn a mighty giant like me into a small, helpless kitten barely able to open a door without collapsing from exhaustion. Long live the weakness potion!

How strange is that?

There’s absolutely nothing strange about this. I would definitely drink one right now if I had enough strength to simply open the bottle…(

Invisibility Potion

So, where did the crafting recipe go? Oh, I must have accidentally spilled a potion on it…

Wait a second, why would you need an invisibility potion? Are you hiding something?

I won’t share the recipe for this potion because I don’t want to become an accomplice to anything nefarious. Now, no one will ever be able to become invisible! Unless, of course, someone decides to Google “how to create an invisibility potion in Minecraft Pocket Edition“. But you would never betray me by visiting another site, right? I still believe in your loyalty and honesty.

How strange is that?

If you do decide to visit another site, please drink the invisibility potion beforehand. I fear that if I find out, my heart might just give out…

Night Vision Potion

The night world can be quite frightening. Fortunately, I have the perfect solution: GO TO SLEEP.

But for those who enjoy wandering at night, I have a fantastic option. This potion allows you to stroll peacefully in the dark, akin to a raccoon or a cuttlefish. Or maybe like this adorable tarsier:

Perhaps the tarsier will be the next animal players request to add next time. Please, don’t make that happen.

This potion offers numerous advantages. For instance, in an emergency, you can use it to venture outside. But explain to me, why would anyone want to go out at night? When the sun dips below the horizon, the most terrifying and unpleasant creatures of Minecraft emerge: zombies eager to feast on your brain, spiders creepily scuttling with their hairy legs. And if you choose to stay awake for several days, soon enough, you’ll encounter such bothersome entities as phantoms.

How strange is that?

If I have no choice but to spend the whole night outdoors, then certainly, the night vision potion wouldn’t hurt. But wait, I have the invisibility potion!

Which potion do you think is the strangest? Regardless, I’ve finally finished writing this article and am now sitting back, relaxing, and enjoying my day off while sipping some unmarked regeneration potion. Oh, my heart is starting to feel uncomfortable. Wait, what label was on that jar? Oh no!