What's It Like To Be A Minecraft Mob?

The player is always the focal point, the protagonist of the narrative. However, have you ever considered the world around you? The thoughts and emotions of other beings?

Over the past few years, I have been asking some of the most valuable and influential inhabitants of Minecraft about their perspectives on the world they inhabit. Today, we are excited to share the findings of our research! All stories are narrated from the storytellers’ viewpoints.

Zombie

Ever since I indulged in a professor’s brain, learning has become my favorite pastime. Before my transformation, I once visited a library, and unfortunately, the only book I never got around to reading was titled “How to Avoid Zombie Bites.” In my opinion, it lacked sufficient illustrations.

Speaking of tastes, I’ve just spotted a player! I need to approach them politely and introduce myself. As you know, the most courteous way to make an introduction is to extend your arms and mumble something under your breath while approaching and requesting a couple of bites of flesh.

The Wanderer of the Edge

I had been planning this heist for years. I meticulously tracked the player, waiting for the moment they would fall asleep. As soon as they drifted off into slumber, I teleported in and snatched one of their pumpkin blocks! Hahaha! Sometimes I truly am a genius!

Today, however, I must postpone my robbery because it started to rain. Like all dreadful creatures, I have a deep fear of water. What? It’s not a ridiculous phobia at all! Please don’t be so cruel; you’re making these horrid tears stream down my face.

The weather cleared up, so I teleported to the victim’s pumpkin patch. You won’t believe it—I found a pumpkin with arms and legs! Is it running away from me?!

I dashed after it, but someone told me that it was clearly not a pumpkin, but rather a player in disguise. Pfft, do I not know what a pumpkin looks like? I just need to catch it and toss it into a pie. Wait, where did you get that sword, little pumpkin? What are you doing…

Creeper

I woke up today feeling quite cheerful, but unfortunately, no one wished me a good morning or invited me for tea. No matter how hard I try, it seems I’ll always be the most unfortunate mob in Minecraft. “This… this is so unfair!” I shout as I start flashing in various colors. Everything’s fine; I’m calm.

— How are you doing?

— Is this some kind of trick? What do you want from me?!

Ahem, I’m still working on that.

Pig

Arrogant? Self-centered? Nonsense! You are merely basing your opinion on the fact that I, Lord Hryukinston, am a pig with an impeccable sense of smell. Just so you know, I graduated from the most prestigious culinary course at the Oxford University of Pigs, but that doesn’t make me some out-of-touch, bright pink representative of the upper class. You claim to have seen me eating carrots off the ground? How audacious! This interview is over, goodbye!

Flower Cow

— Mom, why am I not like other cows in Minecraft?

— We are just very rare mobs. Now stop talking and keep eating your grass.

I went ahead and did just that because the grass is incredibly tasty. I agreed to join the game only if I was compensated not with millions of dollars, but with heaps of grass. Hmm, perhaps I should have thought this through a bit more… I admired my reflection in the lake. I’m not like the other cows. Flowers grow all over my back, and one even sits atop my head. I decided it was time to do something about it and headed to the hairdresser.

— You are stunning, — he said while applying fertilizer to my fur.

Well then, it’s the perfect moment to go eat even more grass!