Surprisingly enough, I’ve never been to space! Not even once!
Unfortunately, NASA has not responded to any of the thousands of letters I sent daily, hoping for my own rocket. And every time I ask my famous scientist friend and owner of a space lab, Elon Musk, he says, “Hey, stop telling people we’re best friends.” Ha-ha. Classic Elon. I love him for that.
But for folks like me, there’s a much simpler way to reach outer space in the world of Minecraft Pocket Edition – the map Stranded in Space, available in the Marketplace – an interstellar adventure by Jigarbo that will teach you more about the cosmos. Plus, this method is far cheaper than buying a rocket or hiring someone to steal one of Elon’s rockets.
Let’s head to space!
We are leaving Earth
It all begins with you flying your very own spaceship through the vastness of space. The ship is named Brightmore.
Let’s be honest: my skills at piloting a spacecraft are non-existent. I can’t even ride a tricycle, let alone handle something so complex. On the bright side, I’ve watched countless movies throughout my life. Plus, I know all the lyrics to Elton John’s Rocket Man song. How hard can it be?
The first step in operating the spaceship: figuring out how to get inside. Sure, I could just break the windows, but that doesn’t seem right.
Let’s not point fingers, but someone definitely damaged the ship, and death is racing towards us. The safety systems are broken, and the text boxes keep flashing “EVACUATE THE SHIP”.
Why do bad news always appear in big letters right in the middle of the screen? No one ever writes in blood-red letters, “You look fantastic today!” or “Nice new haircut!”.
As a heroic captain, I began warning all crew members about the impending doom before trying to find a safe spot. Very noble, right? It has nothing to do with the fact that I have no idea where the emergency exits or lifeboats are, and I need someone to calm me down and shut me up.
Sadly, my rebellious crew was nowhere to be found. They must have abandoned ship long ago! I thought I was a decent captain, and they should have alerted me. But it turns out I had several shortcomings:
- I spent 22 hours a day playing Minecraft PE on my laptop instead of managing the ship and crew
- I had absolutely no clue how to fly a spaceship
- I kept trying to open the windows, hoping for some “fresh air”
There should also be a point about “Damaged the safety systems and allowed aliens to invade the ship”. Speaking of which, I suddenly spotted them – those sneaky Ponitians.
Ponitians! Half pony, half alien. This is really bad news.
I decided to cry and scream as loud as I could – a smart and cunning defensive tactic. They’ll think I’m so weak and defenseless that I won’t pose any threat. I’m a genius! Or maybe not – they keep attacking me…
Determined, I jumped into the escape pod and hit my head on the activation button. Finally saved?
I genuinely believed the ponies would be kind to me. Classic. Friendship turned out to be a fantasy.
My life raft soared through the void of space. I felt destructive vibrations in my bones. My vision blurred.
Suddenly, I woke up, rubbed my bruised little head (thankfully I have a small brain – otherwise, I’d have gotten hurt much worse) and tumbled out of the container. I thought I had finally landed back on my home planet and was already dreaming of snuggling into my warm bed.
Alone, unarmed, and slightly gloomy, I started surveying my surroundings.
Fire? I’ve fought fires caused by my own clumsiness before.
Everything in this world seemed incredibly strange. I was surrounded by unfamiliar technologies, far more advanced than anything I had seen before. Perhaps I could use this?
In the distance, I spotted an alien spaceship and immediately began plotting ways to hijack it.
All the while, I felt like someone was moving around me. Probably new friends? Or enemies? With my luck, definitely enemies!
I encountered this marvel. Half pig, half flying brain – all aspects of intelligence.
Another friend! I tried to hug it. It attempted to eat me. Decided to look for something else.
I found a UFO. Approached it and tried to shout something. In response, they shot at me.
It dawned on me: like Earth, this planet is teeming with life, but just like on Earth, everything around me hates me. Why? I’m a charming space explorer with dazzling teeth and a pleasant aroma of garlic breath. Who doesn’t like garlic?
Trying to stay positive, I continued exploring the planet and stumbled upon a secret laboratory!
It was guarded by two security cameras:
I complimented the cameras and blew them a kiss to prove I’m a good boy and deserve entry. Turns out, these were not surveillance cameras but actual defense towers. And it also turned out that the towers shoot painfully.
A coward would run and hide. And although I am the biggest coward, I needed to get into the lab – it might be my only chance to return home. And who would manage the coolest site for Minecraft PE if I don’t make it back to Earth?
Fortunately, there was a small hole in the wall that allowed me to sneak inside. Two spiders followed me in. I celebrated this moment with hugs. They celebrated by attempting to eat me. 🙁
What experiments were conducted in this terrifying place? It seems they used various earthly animals.
They locked parrots in cages! Parrots shouldn’t be caged! I believe no animal should be caged unless it’s delicious or scary. Time to set them free!
A couple of swings – the parrots are free! This is my most heroic moment in my short life!
A few moments later, I noticed that along with the parrots, I had freed a polar bear. And the bear didn’t look particularly happy. Maybe because I might have accidentally hit it with my axe. Swallowed hard.
If the bear wanted to kill me, it would have to wait its turn. There are still two spiders ahead of it. Deadly black balls smoothly moved toward me and exploded right in front of my face. Around every corner, it seemed another tower awaited, eager to fill my body with lasers.
Luckily, each death on this map sends us back to the teleportation cabin. I tried to teleport home by typing “creepy cave,” but it didn’t work.
Funny story: I sent my friend to the teleport room, tossing in a collection of Shakespeare, hoping to get a great writer in the form of my friend. I haven’t seen my friend since.
I had to go back to the lab. And you wouldn’t believe what I found there – a cloning device! I could clone myself – just imagine the possibilities:
- My clone could go to work while I sleep
- My clone could take care of all the boring tasks while I enjoy myself
- My clone could find his soulmate, start a family, have kids, and live a normal life while I write jokes in Minecraft PE until 3 AM! Every night!
Actually, the mechanism only worked for blocks. My brilliant plans crumbled instantly. But I discovered other equipment that would allow me to control robot spiders.
I was riding a giant spider. This was both the best and worst moment of my life.
With the spider, exploring the planet became a quick task. My buddy did all the work for me. However
